Batman on Craigslist Personals

gotham city craigslist > men seeking women

I’M GODDAMN BATMAN (gotham)

Right now I’m just brooding in my fortress of batshit insanity.  Silently.  All alone.  I’ve had enough, so I activated the Bat-internet to look for companionship.

Did I mentioned I was Batman?  I hear people living on the surface meet for coffee.  Let’s do that.  Let’s meet for coffee and you can tell me about your life for two hours while I silently stare at you.  Then we can go to your place and have crazy bat-sex.

I’m sorry.

That was rude of me.  It’s just…living underground in a cave filled with friggin bats makes me so goddamn awkward.  It’s so lonely here.  Alfred never says a word.  He just serves me breakfast, sips his tea, and reads The Guardian, all in total silence.  Spiteful Limey bastard.

Oh and don’t get me started on Robin.  That nancyboy, always prancing about in his spandex tights.  Put a freakin’ shirt on, you pale, skinny twat.  Jesus.  Makes me throw up in my mouth just thinking about it.  I’ll be in the crime lab looking at DNA samples and Robin will run in screaming about LC’s latest breakup.  Well guess what, Robin.  We don’t live in the Hills.  We live 300 feet under Gotham fucking City.  With a bunch of shrieking, hideous bats.

Please, just get me the hell out of here.  I’m already screwed up in the head as it is.  If I stay here any longer I’ll probably piss on Alfred’s tie rack or throw Robin’s Cosmo magazines in the incinerator.

pic for pic, no spam and no trannies plz, Azns to the front of the line