The Kenny G Chronicles 3: Kenny’s a Felon

Hey guys, it’s the G-meister checking in.

I know what you’re all wondering: “Hey, Kenny, how’s that wacky house arrest thing going?”

Well, that’s not how I look at it.  I’m viewing it in more positive terms.  I am currently a political prisoner whose artistic integrity is under attack from the establishment under the guise of “community standards.”   And as a serious artist, I must often seclude myself from the vulgar masses.  And might I say it’s long overdue.  After a positively Dionysian orgy of fine wine, Ukrainian escorts and Pabst Blue Ribbon, I decided to shock the public’s complacency by publically receiving felatio.  Frankly, I was rather disappointed by the reception of my art in action (and Natalya’s disturbing unwillingness to swallow.)

So after a few reasoned discussions and multiple baton blows Judge McKall and I both decided that Kenny G needed some Kenny Me time.  8 months of it.  And I’m taking it pretty seriously.  And unsurprisingly, the state authorities are so concerned with my continued development as an artist , they’re practically forcing me to stay focused on my craft by shackling me to my own home and tasering me whenever I try to run outside to expose myself to any neighboring fetching the morning paper (thanks guys :)

So far it’s been a success, judging by the amount of hooker sex I’ve finally had the time to recommit to.  In fact, whenever I feel the little starting to flag a bit, I just run outside where a sheriff’s deputy thoughtfully tasers me, with the sudden jolt of electricity allowing me prolong my raging hard on.

I expect I shall get back to saxophone music in due time.

Toodles to all,

Kenny G

PS.

fuck you all